China apparently thinks that the good old US of A is too much in the red. Their official news agency yesterday said that America needs to “cure its addiction to debts” and “live within its means.”

We should listen to China because they’ve been buying our debt like it’s actually a good idea. Sure it’s unsustainable and we’ll probably default in one way or another in the future but it’s such a good investment right now! How could they refuse.

Thanks for the advice China, but I don’t think that I should take investment advice from a nation that also thinks that the booming industry of building abandoned cities is a good investment. Maybe one day they’ll need those abandoned cities to get people away from their cancer villages.

The US needs to cure it’s addiction to debt and live within its means but China doesn’t need to tell us how to do it while reaping huge profits in the process. I’ve got an idea to solve our debt problems, stop buying cheap shit from China and make stuff at home again. Oh wait, I don’t think that’s what the Chinese were talking about when they said cure our addiction.